Run #2734 by June Bug at Unknown

Another long-forgotten trail was dusted off this week, starting with a brutal On-Up that supposedly led to Heaven… though several hashers were convinced it led somewhere considerably warmer. The trail hadn’t been used for ages and was buried under an ankle-deep carpet of leaves, ideal for hiding rocks, holes and other delights thoughtfully provided by the hares. Up we puffed and staggered, tripping over rocks, chasing false trails, and occasionally remembering where the real one might be. Eventually, high enough to see civilisation again, we spotted the path we needed to cross—though first we had to hack through the infamous “machine-gun thorns” that seemed personally offended by our presence. After that heroic battle with vegetation, the trail mercifully turned into a gentle On-Down, allowing everyone to pretend they had enjoyed the climb. Later that evening 32 hashers assembled under the full moon, proving once again that free food and cheap beer remain the most reliable motivators in the Hash. The front runners blasted around the trail in just over an hour while the rest arrived in dribs and drabs, with No Choice, Nutcracker and Rupiah eventually limping home at the back. While all this athletic nonsense was going on, June Bug had been busy organising a magnificent spread: lamb, pork and chicken dishes served with rice or beehoon, all accompanied by generously subsidised beer (a word guaranteed to attract hashers faster than any whistle). No Choice produced an apple crumble for dessert which vanished at such speed that several people are still insisting they never even saw it. The icing ceremony was mostly the usual chaos, with one notable highlight: Iceman turned up wearing NEW SHOES. Rookie mistake. One shoe was immediately promoted to official drinking vessel, and the unfortunate Iceman was forced to perform a very public down-down from it. Not something we see often these days—especially from an old hand like him. Perhaps age is catching up. Many thanks to June Bug for the excellent food and beer subsidy, and to No Choice for the dangerously popular dessert. Next week we have the AGM at Permai Shop Lots, starting 5:00 pm sharp (or as close to sharp as hashers manage). The usual run follows, then dinner at My Home Style Restaurant. And finally, since today is International Women’s Day, a big cheer to the ladies of the Hash—who, as usual, managed the run with far more style and far less complaining than the men. On On! 🍺